Maryland Photographer: My Story
2018 opened/changed me
2019 broke me.
2020 I’m coming back
2019 was the hardest year of my life .
It was the year I had to truly face myself.
I had to dig deep and ask myself some really hard questions.
I had to start, what felt like the impossible process, to forgive myself for things I was not proud of and face mistakes I had made.
I had to allow myself the same unconditional love I give to others and allow myself to be human and make mistakes - even big ones.
I had to make a choice to be brave even when it was scary and painful.
2019 was the year I learned that emotional pain hurts physically - even more than physical pain. It's not escapable and takes time to manage, put in its place and overcome.
It was the year I cried more in one year then I have in my lifetime. The year I learned how hard it is to be a mom while your heart is breaking and it takes everything you have to get through a day.
2019 was the year I had to turn into myself, close down and disappear from the outside world for awhile to survive. The year I lost relationships in my life and felt damage from others close to me because I had to retreat for a while to figure out me .
2019 was the most scared and lonely and ashamed I had ever felt.
But 2019 also taught me things I will carry with me for the rest of my life and pass to my children .
2019 showed me how strong I truly am. Taught me how to set my own boundaries and stand up for me.
It taught me the importance of just being ME and I deserve to be happy.
2019 showed me (even more) how amazing my children are and how special the connection we share truly is.
2019 brought me some amazing new friends that have become my family and without I would not have survived the year. It brought closer some of the very special friends I already had in my life and showed me that true friendship is unconditional and non judgmental - even when you do not feel worthy. True friends love you for you, flaws and all.
2019 pushed me my out of my comfort zones in so many ways and showed me I can do scary things and sometimes they can lead to the most amazing things; learning strengths you never knew you had.
2019 helped me to love myself and accept me for me- I am working on not caring about judgement from the outside and just be me.
I have learned to lean on myself for the first time ever.
And 2019 brought me a peace and wholeness despite the pain. It brought out the beauty of love and connections and taught me about truly being open and non judgemental . It showed me the power of deep connections and learning from so many around me. It showed me that I am not alone and have so much to be thankful for. It brought me love.
Welcome 2020,
I am coming back!
I am using my new found strengths and belief that 'this too shall pass' and 'what is meant to be will be' and trusting in the Universe. What you put out you get back.
Putting one foot in front of the other with confidence, even when I do not know what my future holds right now.
But knowing it will be ok, I will be ok because I have me, and some pretty amazingly beautiful people around me.
I am healing myself and repairing some losses. Forgiving but not forgetting.
I am forgiving myself and knowing that my story isn't over yet. I still have so much left to feel, experience and give.
I am embracing the new me and loving her.
And I am using all of my experiences to shape my passion and art; to truly show through in my photography. I am growing my business in new and exciting ways and making some lasting connections with my clients (old and new).
So here is to 2020.
I have been gathering courage like wildflowers.
And now I am writing a new chapter of my life.
Falling back in love with myself.
I am ready for new adventures and experiences.
I am ready for my come-back.
May 2020 bring you closer to everything you want and the strength to keep going and growing when things do not go according to plan.
xoxo
SarahRachael
www.sarahrachaelphotography.com
